What frequently happens instead, though, is that we hold on to the memories of the abuse as a way of justifying what we do in our present lives. As an adult, for example, I think that I have to be careful around men or women in view of what happened to me when I was a child! The effect of that approach is that it keeps the past alive in me.
Be part of God's plan for Him to be loved by every people.
This in no way means that we should deny the past, but rather that we should learn to deny that the past has any effect on us right now. There is a big difference between the two attitudes. On the one hand, as long as you repress a bad memory you are saying the past is still alive, and it is so horrific that you are not going to deal with it.
This is not helpful. What is helpful, though, is to acknowledge what happened, but then to ask yourself what that has to do with you now. The mistake is saying it does have something to do with you now. And the reason it is so tempting to conclude that—it actually is more of a compulsive need to think like that—is that when terrible things happen to us as children, we build up a self as a defense against the abuse and victimization —a very understandable dynamic. But then we forget that the abuse is no longer there and we still have the self that we built up, which now defines us: This is who I am, and I am this way because of what happened when I was a little child.
I need to hold on to the abuse—past, present, or anticipated—because that justifies the armor I built around me that now defines me. I am not a child of God; I am a child of an abusive parent, grandparent, relative, or even a gene that made me inadequate and defective. We thus define ourselves on the basis of the past, and we continue to need the past because it justifies our being the way we are today.
We think we have to be this way because we would not know who we are without our defensive system, our defective way of relating to the world. As long as we have an abusive past, we are off the hook.
What Meaning of Good and Evil in Life?
You made you. And it is not only that your mind made you when you were two years old, you made yourself when you were 22, 42, 62, and That is just not true; you are the way you are today because your decision-making mind chose today to be that way.
Q: I work with two people whose work habits I do not respect. There is no supervisor in our area and they take full advantage of this. Instead, on the level of form, I now interact with them only on work-related issues. When they attack me, I am able to choose another teacher and not attack back. By handling the situation in this way, I obtain some measure of peace. On the level of content, I can see them as the Son of God and equal with me in that sense. I know that they are acting from their ego and I do not wish them any harm, but I do not wish to interact with them on a personal level.
So can I see myself as doing my best on the level of form but still seeing myself as joined with these people on the level of content, so that I will be able to join with God as one with the Sonship?
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Thus, the issue is not whether to be with people or not to be with them, but to be without judgment of them. This is the point that Jesus stressed with Helen in one of his discussions with her. Once free of that type of investment, you would be peaceful in interacting with them or not interacting with them on a personal level.
It would no longer be an issue for you. Some people make the mistake of thinking that love would automatically direct you to associate with another person regardless of the circumstances—that that would always be the loving thing to do. That is not true. Perhaps interacting on a personal level would not be the loving thing to do. Q: I was wondering if you could expand on the idea: that the parent-child relationship seems to come back to the initial belief in the separation of Father and Son. We now act out our roles to keep that initial belief alive, and therefore our ego needs to be the rejected child or rejecting parent.
A: Whatever we see in our children is what we see in ourselves. As your words reflect, if we see a rejected or angry child, we see something we are not looking at in ourselves that we have projected.
Before proceeding any further, let me clarify a point that has confused many students of A Course in Miracles , leading them to turn the concepts and their application upside down. When the Course talks about perception, it does not refer to what our eyes see, but to the interpretation of what is seen. The issue, therefore, is not that our children feel rejected, but that we believe they are rejected—what the mind does with what our eyes see. When we dream at night, we, the dreamer, are reflected in the various symbols of the dream—it is your dream, after all—split-off parts of our thought system.
The same is true of relationships in our waking dreams. This is why when we heal relationships and see everyone as sharing the same purpose, we are integrating our own split minds. My relationship with you is not what needs healing, because your body and mine are both projections of my mind. What is healed is my relationship with my self. When I choose the ego as my teacher, I am choosing a thought system of separation, fragmentation, attack, and pain. When I choose Jesus, I am choosing a thought system that reflects perfect Oneness.
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And so in healing my relationship with the people in my life—with family members high on the list—I am recalling the projections of my split-off self, recognizing they are the same. We can now see why relationships are so important: they are the only means of getting in touch with the real problem.
Purpose, Perspective & Point of View
When A Course in Miracles talks about special and holy relationships, even though the context is usually relationships with people, what is really meant is that there is only one special relationship—with our ego—and one holy relationship—with Jesus or the Holy Spirit. We project either one onto the people in our lives. Thus, it is not our relationships with others that have to be healed, for they are just classrooms in which we learn where the real healing needs to be: our mistaken decision for the ego.
Now we realize the true problem, and our anger is simply a reminder—if we are open to it—that we chose the wrong teacher. We do not need special relationships with people.
Working with a coach can help build new skills and new strategies, including grit. Are you ready? We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and you can choose how to spend that time. I wish you much success on your career quest. Yours in balance, learning, growth and harmony. I think a coach would be a huge help in navigating how to do that! After looking into a number of the blog articles on your web site, I seriously like your way of writing a blog.
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I saved as a favorite it to my bookmark site list and will be checking back soon. Please check out my website as well and let me know your opinion. On November 11, , I will have my gratitude anniversary. Etiam magna arcu, ullamcorper ut pulvinar et, ornare sit amet ligula. Aliquam vitae bibendum lorem.
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July 2, by delucaw1 in Industry News. Lisa DeLuca July 4, at pm. The first has to do with how the size of objects seems to diminish according to distance: the second, the manner in which colors change the farther away they are from the eye; the third defines how objects ought to be finished less carefully the farther away they are. Perspective was developed in the 15th century by the architects, Leon Baptista Alberti and Filippo Brunelleschi For years, perspective drawing remained one of the basic principles of Western art until it was challenged by the ideas of the Cubists at the start of the 20th century.
Whether you are working with conventional materials such as pencils and paints or contemporary digital media, a knowledge and understanding of perspective drawing remains an essential tool to help you enhance your drawing technique.